Introduction
Did your boss, took you for a ride? Did your girlfriend/ boyfriend ditch you? Did your friends take you for granted? And you feel that you are useless and you feel that they are hurting your self esteem.
Do It Yourself
Understanding Self-Esteem
To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's take a look at the word esteem first. Esteem is a fancy word for reasoning that man or something is prominent or valuing that man or thing.
And self, means, you. So when you put the two words together, it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how prominent you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements. Self-esteem isn't bragging about how great you are. It's more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot (priceless, in fact). It's not about reasoning you're excellent - because nobody is - but knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted.
In the words of Dr Nathaniel Branden, widely regarded as "the father of the self-esteem movement", self-esteem is "the disposition to touch oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness."
Importance of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem isn't like a cool pair of sneakers that you'd love to have but don't have to have. Good self-esteem is prominent because it helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, others commonly respect you, too. Having good self-esteem is also the marker to production good choices about your mind and body.
If you think you're important, you'll be less likely to consequent the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or dangerous. If you have good self-esteem, you know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self. Good self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.
What Self-Esteem Is Not
Self-esteem is the touch of feeling and knowing that we are competent to live and worthy of living and being happy.
Genuine self-esteem is not primarily dependent upon the approval of other persons in one's collective environment. While it is really desirable to have the realistic good opinions of others, no one can give us self-esteem except ourselves. The man who ties his self-esteem to the approval of others is already handicapped in self-esteem and is constantly in jeopardy of further loss of self-esteem.
Contrary to what one sometimes hears or reads, self-esteem is not just a synonym for any determined feeling about oneself. Thus, self-esteem is not egotism, arrogance, conceitedness, narcissism, or a desire to feel classic to others. Indeed, these attitudes betray a lack of genuine self-esteem. Self-esteem is not the euphoria that might be temporarily induced by a job promotion or a new love affair. In fact, if one feels incompetent to deal with the job or unworthy of love, these experiences can be a challenge to an already impaired sense of self-esteem. One can feel like an "imposter," who might be "found out" at any moment.
Self-esteem - A Psychological need (Some facts from Research)
Self-esteem plays a crucial role in psychological well-being. Individuals who are high in self-esteem tend to be at less risk for depression (Crandall, 1973) and hopelessness (Abramson, Metalsky, and Alloy, 1989). Self-esteem is a great predictor of pleasure with one's life than any objective characteristic of individuals, such as revenue or age (Diener, 1984). High self-esteem has been concerned in good reasoning health (Baumeister, 1991; Bednar et al., 1989; Taylor & Brown, 1988).
Most citizen who seek psychotherapy do so because of general feelings of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem has been connected to problems such as depression, use of drugs (Brehm and Back, 1968), alcohol abuse (Wahl, 1956), suicide, and eating disorders. Relative to high self-esteem people, low self-esteem citizen tend to be more anxious, depressed, jealous, and lonely (Cutrona, 1982; Goswick & Jones, 1981; Kanfer & Zeiss, 1983; Leary, 1983; Lewinsohn, Mischel, Chaplin, & Barton, 1980; Taylor & Brown, 1988; White, 1981).
Self Esteem At a Work Place
Research has validated that self-esteem is a key factor in enhancing work execution and enhancing employee behavior.
Employees with high self-esteem (relative to those with low self-esteem) are:
More intrinsically motivated and optimistic (Bandura & Cervone, 1983; Burger, 1992; Deci & Ryan, 1985; Harackiewicz & Larson, 1986; Harter & Jackson, 1992; Vallerand, 1983), More creative (Domino, 1971; Mackinnon, 1962), More apt to work harder in response to significant negative feedback (Brockner & Elkind, 1985), More likely to be sufficient in quality circles (Brockner & Hess, 1986), and Less negatively affected by continuing stressors such as role ambiguity and disagreement (Mossholder, Bedeian & Armenakis, 1981).
In the words of Warren Bennis, "... Knowledge workers, in particular, can be creative and sufficient and happy only in an environment that nurtures self-esteem."
Research shows a determined connection between self-esteem and leadership. Leaders typically have higher levels of self-esteem than non-leaders. Self-esteem plays a significant role in decision making, animated citizen and gaining others' trust. Leaders with high self-esteem are generally decisive, assertive, willing to make tough decisions, and exhibit high but realistic expectations of their followers, which come to be self-fulfilling.
Simply put, how can one be a good leader if he distrusts his own mind and how can one bring out the best in others when he feels insecure in his interpersonal exchanges? Nathaniel Branden concludes as follows: "The higher the self-esteem of a leader, the more likely it is that he or she can inspire the best in others. A mind that does not trust itself cannot inspire greatness in the minds of colleagues and subordinates." investigate shows that, relative to high self-esteem people, low self- esteem citizen set lower expectations for their execution in a range of situations (Coopersmith, 1967; Kiesler & Baral, 1970), and these lower expectations lead to reduced endeavor (Diggory, Klein, & Cohen, 1964; Wattenberg and Clifford, 1964).
People with low self-esteem generally underestimate their capabilities and subsequently originate less animated or mediocre goals for themselves. (Heatherton & Ambady, 1993). investigate also shows that underachievers are generally less determined and less ambitious (Goldberg, 1960), less self-accepting (Shaw and Alves, 1963), and lack a sense of personal worth (Durr and Schmatz, 1964).
If I Can Help You In Boosting Your Self Esteem
Think back to when you did something new for the first time. Studying something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self-belief and high stress levels, all of which are significant parts of the Studying process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly general - you're just learning.
Do something you have been putting off. Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, production a tasty and salutary meal - anyone that complex you production a decision, then following through.
Do Something You Are Good At.
Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing... If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of `flow' where you forget about all else. You will feel more competent, concluded and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self-esteem. And while you're at it, seriously reconsider doing something like this at least once a week. citizen who touch `flow' commonly seem to be happier and healthier.
Stop reasoning about yourself I know this sounds strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.
Get Seriously Relaxed.
If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop reasoning and relax properly. Some citizen do this by exercising, others by animated themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a splendid life skill and so practicing self-hypnosis, meditation, or a physically based freedom technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful. When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great 'rescue remedy'.
Remember all the things you have achieved. This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll originate a handy reasoning list of self-esteem boosting memories.
Remember That You Could Be Wrong.
If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip `Get Seriously Relaxed' comes in.
Once you have tried out a few of these, reconsider production them a permanent part of your life. For most people, good self-esteem is not just a happy accident, it's a consequent of the way they think and the things they do from day to day. Good Luck.
Conclusion
Self-esteem is one of our most basic psychological needs. The degree of our self-esteem (or lack of it) impacts every major aspect of our lives. It has profound effects on our reasoning processes, emotions, desires, values, choices, and goals. Deficits in self-esteem contribute to virtually all psychological problems. And psychological problems lead to lowered self-esteem. It is a reciprocal relationship.
Looking transmit to your comments and feedback Have a great day and take care.
Regards
You, Your Self Estem, and Its importance in Your Growth!
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